The Past Few Weeks

Moved from Myspace. Original post 12/18/08

As the topic says I am in the writing mood tonight. I just came back from dinner tonight with a bunch of colleagues and it was absolutely wonderful. We went to one of the executive's houses at my job, and it was a great way to top off a sad day.

Life and love has gotten the best of me the past couple of weeks. I have been on a emotional roller coaster lately, but hopefully things are starting to level off. I was in a situation I was never really comfortable with and it got out of control this last week. I have a tendency to push people away and for good reasons. They commit the sins of lying stealing and cheating. I give my all to some things and some people just do not realize that this is life we are playing with. This is not a fun and games to see who wins in the end. Although it would be nice if it was, because then we would not be so affected by these experiences. Life has always been about the challenges we face and the bonds that cannot so easily be broken. Although if it is bad for you, it will be broken. Am I hurt, of course, but life moves on as it always does. I am not hurt by the choices we both made, I am more hurt by the fact that we know what the end result will be because we set it up in the first place. We go through these experiences to teach us a lesson. It teaches us a lesson about you and me. It teaches us that with every heartbreak, GOD had something waiting for us in the wings. It teaches us that even when we have people that absolutely hate us, its okay because you know someone is thinking about you. It teaches us that even though things may not ever work out the way you planned, it was destiny for it to happen that way. But most importantly it teaches us that life will always move on. You cannot just stop, you still have to get up the next morning.

This experience has also taught me something about other people's relationships. It has taught me that people will do what they need to do to be comfortable. They may be content but never happy. They may feel loved but never in love. They may have control but never be in control. And although the right decision was made for everyone, no one will ever be happy. History repeats itself and if it happened before me, it will happen after me. Which is why I let go. If it happened to them, what in Gods earth would allow me to think that it would not happen to me. So where do we go from here. I feel like I have lost my best friend, but I know that in the end it was all worth it. I have my sanity back. I have my control back. I have my emotions back. But most importantly, Hope is back. I know I have so much to offer. I am a great woman. I know my possibilities are limitless. I know my future is preserved. I know I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.

You said.....I am ....air. I am.....light. To be with me is to know Joy. No one has ever brought out the emotion the way have. I thank you for those words. And I know it is possible.