****15 YEARS AGO (1994)****
1) How old were you? 117
2) Who were you dating? Kept options open ;)
3) Where did you work? Burger King
4) Where did you live? At Home
5) Where did you hang out? House Parties
6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? both
7) Who were your best friends? keitha and Tasha
8) How many tattoos did you have? None
9) How many piercings did you have? Just ears
10) What kind of car did you drive? No car
11) Had you been to a real party? Ummm... too many
12) Had you had your heart broken? Not yet
13) Were you Single/taken/Married/Divorced? Dating :)
14) Any Kids? um yeah
***10 YEARS AGO (1999)***
1) How old were you? 23
2) Who were you dating? Keyani
3) Where did you work? Value options
4) Where did you live? New York
5) Where did you hang out? Smoothies
6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? both
7) Who were your best friends? Tasha
8) How many tattoos did you have? None
9) How many piercings did you have? Just ears
10) What kind of car did you have? Ford Escort
11) Had your heart been broken? Yes
12) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Single
13)Any Kids? yes 1
****TODAY (2009)****
1) Age? 32
2) Who are you dating? My man...ohh i get shivers thinking about him
3) Where do you work? GE
4) Where do you live? NY
5) Do you wear contacts and/or glasses? I wont after Friday
6) Who are your closest friends? ChrisTasha
7) Do you talk to your old friends? a few
8) How many piercings do you have? Just ears
9) How many tattoos? 3
10) What kind of car do you have? 2005 Nissan Sentra
11) Had your heart been broken? Yup
12) Are you single/taken/married/divorced? Taken
13) How many kids? 2
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Playmate Vs Soulmate
From Keitha.....I love this
In our quest for happiness we must be sure that we don't settle for a Playmate when God has a Soul mate waiting for us. Sometimes this is a hard distinction to make. Playmates are tricky. They are so much fun to be with that even the smartest of us will be fooled into thinking this has to be our Soul mate. Worse yet too many of us attempt to make a Soul mate out of a Playmate.
The danger of this is that later, after years of playing we will meet our Soul mate, but it may be too late then. We may have already made a Life mate of our Playmate and created life-long bonds (emotional, children, etc.) Or we may have been hurt from playing so hard that we are in no shape ourselves to be anyone anything. How can we distinguish between the One, and just another one?
First, we must be open with ourselves about who we really are and what our soul yearns for. Only you and God know what is truly in your heart and mind. Only you know what will make you truly happy and whole.
In order to find your Soul mate you have to know you, first. You must be willing to listen to that inner voice. And is that voice telling you that the nerdy person you enjoy talking and sharing your thoughts with, could be he? What about that friend who is always willing to go the extra mile for you when no one else will.
Oh no! He's too short or too tall, balding or too hairy, got too many kids, and on and on? Just too ordinary looking for me! Then there's that girl who makes you feel so special when you're around her, but she doesn't match that ideal you have conjured in your head. She's too tall, not slender enough, not light or dark enough, not shapely enough, not attractive enough, and on and on. She just couldn't be for me! So what if he or she doesn't look like Denzel Washington or Halle Berry! He or she is going to treat you like the jewel that you are.
Not only that, his or her soul and yours will commune in ways you never imagined possible! In order to heed that voice, we have to put on the back burner our own superficial thinking. Could it be that your inner desire is for a truly genuine person with a good heart? If you enjoy playing, stay on the playground. There are plenty Playmates out there to occupy your time. but don't spend too much time playing or you may play your life away. Eventually the playing loses it 's appeal and your soul begins to crave a deeper, more meaningful connection. Your soul begins to crave your Soul mate
In our quest for happiness we must be sure that we don't settle for a Playmate when God has a Soul mate waiting for us. Sometimes this is a hard distinction to make. Playmates are tricky. They are so much fun to be with that even the smartest of us will be fooled into thinking this has to be our Soul mate. Worse yet too many of us attempt to make a Soul mate out of a Playmate.
The danger of this is that later, after years of playing we will meet our Soul mate, but it may be too late then. We may have already made a Life mate of our Playmate and created life-long bonds (emotional, children, etc.) Or we may have been hurt from playing so hard that we are in no shape ourselves to be anyone anything. How can we distinguish between the One, and just another one?
First, we must be open with ourselves about who we really are and what our soul yearns for. Only you and God know what is truly in your heart and mind. Only you know what will make you truly happy and whole.
In order to find your Soul mate you have to know you, first. You must be willing to listen to that inner voice. And is that voice telling you that the nerdy person you enjoy talking and sharing your thoughts with, could be he? What about that friend who is always willing to go the extra mile for you when no one else will.
Oh no! He's too short or too tall, balding or too hairy, got too many kids, and on and on? Just too ordinary looking for me! Then there's that girl who makes you feel so special when you're around her, but she doesn't match that ideal you have conjured in your head. She's too tall, not slender enough, not light or dark enough, not shapely enough, not attractive enough, and on and on. She just couldn't be for me! So what if he or she doesn't look like Denzel Washington or Halle Berry! He or she is going to treat you like the jewel that you are.
Not only that, his or her soul and yours will commune in ways you never imagined possible! In order to heed that voice, we have to put on the back burner our own superficial thinking. Could it be that your inner desire is for a truly genuine person with a good heart? If you enjoy playing, stay on the playground. There are plenty Playmates out there to occupy your time. but don't spend too much time playing or you may play your life away. Eventually the playing loses it 's appeal and your soul begins to crave a deeper, more meaningful connection. Your soul begins to crave your Soul mate
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Is Love Real?
I believe if everyone (men & women) would just be real with each other and have each other's back in good and bad times that everyone would be better off. We are so busy trying to change each other, get over on each other, control each other, cheat on each other, hang these over each other's head, throw things in each other's faces, bring each other down, abuse each other, curse at each other, play each other, disrespect each other that we are forgetting to love one another. Always remember why you hooked up with that person in the first place. Don't stop doing the things that attracted that person to you. Just be respectful and don't do it as much or included the other person when you do. When both of you are out and about, remember that you are representing each other out there. Don't do anything that you can't tell your mate about. If you can't tell them then it's cheating. You should be able to tell each other anything and everything even if it hurts or will hurt the other person. Love is Love. Weight can be lost. Attitudes go away. Pain stops. Don't stay with a person just for the kids. The kids will still be there where you are there or not. There's a song that goes " If your heart isn't in it then why keep me hanging on?" Relationships are not hard. People make them hard. If you can't trust them then say goodbye even if it hurts. Remember this and share this with your special someone. No games ,no lies, no B.S. Just be Real.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I should not be doing this
But i am at work blogging, because i need to take a freaking break. Things have been non stop since 9AM this morning and I am exhausted i think. It probably does not help that i did not go to bed until 6AM the morning. Dont even ask why, it is a long story. I literally got 2.5 hours of sleep in my PJ's (lol) and headed off to work.
I am tired of being tired. I think i need to start taking my iron again. Anyway my ex called me 5 times yesterday to say hi. LOL I told his friend that he is now on the verge of being a stalker and if he keeps playing around, i may just have to call his wifety wife. Man i am just kind of fed up all around. Someone asked me recently what i was looking for in an ideal man. I should have said money, power and looks, but i didn't of course because I am not that shallow. I guess I could be or sometimes think I should be, but i am not. I just want to be happy. Have someone as my best friend. What does that entail, I do not know.
Next weekend I am going to Montreal. I finally broke down and booked a trip. I know it is days before Florida, but i need to get the hell outta here by myself, before going away with the kids. And i cannot wait. i booked my train, I just have to book a room. This will be exciting. It will be the first time i will be in a city i do not know, by myself, and just get to explore an old world. I dont know how it will be but it will definitely be a new adventure.
I am tired of being tired. I think i need to start taking my iron again. Anyway my ex called me 5 times yesterday to say hi. LOL I told his friend that he is now on the verge of being a stalker and if he keeps playing around, i may just have to call his wifety wife. Man i am just kind of fed up all around. Someone asked me recently what i was looking for in an ideal man. I should have said money, power and looks, but i didn't of course because I am not that shallow. I guess I could be or sometimes think I should be, but i am not. I just want to be happy. Have someone as my best friend. What does that entail, I do not know.
Next weekend I am going to Montreal. I finally broke down and booked a trip. I know it is days before Florida, but i need to get the hell outta here by myself, before going away with the kids. And i cannot wait. i booked my train, I just have to book a room. This will be exciting. It will be the first time i will be in a city i do not know, by myself, and just get to explore an old world. I dont know how it will be but it will definitely be a new adventure.
Monday, February 16, 2009
New one
I wanna say...
Let's do it
And all the way this moment
Move closer to me
Soul path
Show it
That part
That fear
You are so far
Even when so near
I require more of you
Desire more of you
And I aint accepting
Less than the best you can give
And I aint taking less
Than all my breathes while I live
I wanna say let's do it
I just need your permission
Your eye to glisten
Ear to listen
Heart..
To wish in
To bless us
Let's do it
And all the way this moment
Move closer to me
Soul path
Show it
That part
That fear
You are so far
Even when so near
I require more of you
Desire more of you
And I aint accepting
Less than the best you can give
And I aint taking less
Than all my breathes while I live
I wanna say let's do it
I just need your permission
Your eye to glisten
Ear to listen
Heart..
To wish in
To bless us
Lessons Learned from Nakia on FB
My body is tired
Limbs are sore from stretching and releasing and giving
And holding on
Mind is tired of thinking and explaining and dreaming
And reaching for answers
To questions that will never be asked
Heart is tired of aching hungrily
Tired of wildly beating
Only to stop, quiet and anxious
Scared to moveIn case things change
I tried to give you all of me
Every inch of skin
Morsel of strength and
Ounce of love
Placed the gift of me gently in your hands
You looked at my offer
Just looked and
Took pieces when you cared
Left others to scatter when you didn't
Kept all of you to yourself
You stood still and
Held on with the tightest grip
Teeth bared, eyes squinting,
Arms straining to hold on to you and yours
Selfish and scared
The crazy part is
I held the same stance
Stood still and held on with the tightest grip
Teeth bared, eyes squinting, arms straining
To hold on to YOU
And yours
We Never came to be
It was just you
With me sprinkled here and there
A withering smile
A strand of brown hair
And an empty daydream
That is all
It was nothing
My body is tired
Over nothing
But not for long
It is over and soon I will smile
With my head up
Eyes daring the sun to shine brighter
Arms teasing the wind
Feet steadying the earth
YesIt is over and there are no tears now
No worries, no regretsNo need to analyze
No need to heal
Just lessons learned
Understanding earned
New light and easy living
I can rest now
Yes
NowI can rest
Limbs are sore from stretching and releasing and giving
And holding on
Mind is tired of thinking and explaining and dreaming
And reaching for answers
To questions that will never be asked
Heart is tired of aching hungrily
Tired of wildly beating
Only to stop, quiet and anxious
Scared to moveIn case things change
I tried to give you all of me
Every inch of skin
Morsel of strength and
Ounce of love
Placed the gift of me gently in your hands
You looked at my offer
Just looked and
Took pieces when you cared
Left others to scatter when you didn't
Kept all of you to yourself
You stood still and
Held on with the tightest grip
Teeth bared, eyes squinting,
Arms straining to hold on to you and yours
Selfish and scared
The crazy part is
I held the same stance
Stood still and held on with the tightest grip
Teeth bared, eyes squinting, arms straining
To hold on to YOU
And yours
We Never came to be
It was just you
With me sprinkled here and there
A withering smile
A strand of brown hair
And an empty daydream
That is all
It was nothing
My body is tired
Over nothing
But not for long
It is over and soon I will smile
With my head up
Eyes daring the sun to shine brighter
Arms teasing the wind
Feet steadying the earth
YesIt is over and there are no tears now
No worries, no regretsNo need to analyze
No need to heal
Just lessons learned
Understanding earned
New light and easy living
I can rest now
Yes
NowI can rest
Blogging again
Sorry, it has been a while since i have been on. It has been kind of crazy at work and life. I do have great new though. I finally took down my Xmas decorations. I know it is like 2 months past Xmas, but oh well. Might as well enjoy it while I can. I also bought a plasma tv on Sunday. i picked it up today and am soo excited to hook it up. PJ is going to come to the house and set everything up for me. i would do it but i figure why if he already knows. :) i also gave Tuboson my new laptop and old one. he is in the process of transferring everything over for me, so it feels like my old one, documents and all. LOL I talked to him about his crazy ass friend Toyin, and he agreed that i need to just let Toyin go. Do it easy, but do it. All Toyin did was talk about the incident that happened on Friday and now he is worried that he let me go to soon, how could i really just move on, should he leave his wife because he doesn't think he can really lose me. i told Tubosun it was too late. I am going to call hime, go out to dinner and just lay it down straight. I feel it is my only option at this point.
So i talked to my bestest friend in the entire world yesterday, Tasha. Damn I love that woman. And it is so refreshing when we actually have a good conversation. She knew I was not happy when she left so suddenly. i talked to her about a bunch of stuff and she did the same. The girl always gives me a breath of fresh air. I mean i have a lot of close friends, but Tasha proves why she is the best. i am going to pass on the advice she shared to you...
Stop being so breakable with everyone. Start listening to yourselfand not everyone else who tells you what they think or what they think you want hear. The only person that can judge you is GOD. We are strong beautiful women and we should never let anyone take our joy. The only person that can truly take our joy is ourselves and only because we allow it to happen. You need to always do what makes you happy and even if that means that sometime you will be unhappy, it is better to be happy somedays and unhappy some others than be unhappy all of the time. We have accomplished so much and although we are not where we need to be, we are almost there. And most importantly live life from day to day because you dont have promises for tomorrow. Do what you can do now to make you happy.
So i talked to my bestest friend in the entire world yesterday, Tasha. Damn I love that woman. And it is so refreshing when we actually have a good conversation. She knew I was not happy when she left so suddenly. i talked to her about a bunch of stuff and she did the same. The girl always gives me a breath of fresh air. I mean i have a lot of close friends, but Tasha proves why she is the best. i am going to pass on the advice she shared to you...
Stop being so breakable with everyone. Start listening to yourselfand not everyone else who tells you what they think or what they think you want hear. The only person that can judge you is GOD. We are strong beautiful women and we should never let anyone take our joy. The only person that can truly take our joy is ourselves and only because we allow it to happen. You need to always do what makes you happy and even if that means that sometime you will be unhappy, it is better to be happy somedays and unhappy some others than be unhappy all of the time. We have accomplished so much and although we are not where we need to be, we are almost there. And most importantly live life from day to day because you dont have promises for tomorrow. Do what you can do now to make you happy.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Late Night
I am up very late tonight, thinking about so many things. I really need to go to bed, but it is 1AM and I am up. I really need to start writing in my journal again. I started to and wrote a few songs and personal notes to myself, but there are so many things that I still need to say and do, but I feel like I just do not have the time.
Tash is leaving tomorrow and I am sad about it. I will miss my girl, but I know she has to go back home. I was thinking about calling Pajamas and seeing what was up, but I didn't. It is cold in my house but I think it is just me, cuz Man Man is butt naked in the bed. I am so confused and have so much turmoil within myself right now about so many things. Career, Love, Friendships, Relationships period, my life and where I am supposed to be going. I have always been the type of person to just do things on a whim, but I know I cannot do that anymore because there is so much at stake when I make crazy decisions. And although I would love to be able to just do what I want i know that sometimes it is impossible. Like I do not want to go to work tomorrow because I hate my job now, but I know I have to. They are paying for my schooling and my other bills LOL. I am so tired. I want to drop off of the radar for a while. Keep in contact with the few that I need to, but I can't because a lack of attention does not suit me. I feel like I need a abreak from life in general. I know when I go to Disney I will get my break, but I need a real break. I think I am going to leave one day randomly and just go. Kinda like stella. And not like i need my groove back, like I just need to get away. Sort through things. Come up with a real plan. A few days should do. As a matter of fact that is exactly what I am going to do. Just leave, even if it is only for a day or so. No kids, no family, no man, Just me. Maybe I will get refreshed, revived and rejuvenated to tackle this crazy thing we call life. I figure i have already live 1/3 of my life and there is not much time left. It goes so quickly and there is still so much I have to do. Get my degree, get married, move up the latter and hit the glass ceiling LOL, and just enjoy life. I want to travel, Every year, go somewhere different. And I am going to start next month. Not just with my trip to Disney, I am going to book a vacation, Somewhere new, somewhere where i can just relax. Ohhh I cannot wait.
Tash is leaving tomorrow and I am sad about it. I will miss my girl, but I know she has to go back home. I was thinking about calling Pajamas and seeing what was up, but I didn't. It is cold in my house but I think it is just me, cuz Man Man is butt naked in the bed. I am so confused and have so much turmoil within myself right now about so many things. Career, Love, Friendships, Relationships period, my life and where I am supposed to be going. I have always been the type of person to just do things on a whim, but I know I cannot do that anymore because there is so much at stake when I make crazy decisions. And although I would love to be able to just do what I want i know that sometimes it is impossible. Like I do not want to go to work tomorrow because I hate my job now, but I know I have to. They are paying for my schooling and my other bills LOL. I am so tired. I want to drop off of the radar for a while. Keep in contact with the few that I need to, but I can't because a lack of attention does not suit me. I feel like I need a abreak from life in general. I know when I go to Disney I will get my break, but I need a real break. I think I am going to leave one day randomly and just go. Kinda like stella. And not like i need my groove back, like I just need to get away. Sort through things. Come up with a real plan. A few days should do. As a matter of fact that is exactly what I am going to do. Just leave, even if it is only for a day or so. No kids, no family, no man, Just me. Maybe I will get refreshed, revived and rejuvenated to tackle this crazy thing we call life. I figure i have already live 1/3 of my life and there is not much time left. It goes so quickly and there is still so much I have to do. Get my degree, get married, move up the latter and hit the glass ceiling LOL, and just enjoy life. I want to travel, Every year, go somewhere different. And I am going to start next month. Not just with my trip to Disney, I am going to book a vacation, Somewhere new, somewhere where i can just relax. Ohhh I cannot wait.
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