Late Night

I am up very late tonight, thinking about so many things. I really need to go to bed, but it is 1AM and I am up. I really need to start writing in my journal again. I started to and wrote a few songs and personal notes to myself, but there are so many things that I still need to say and do, but I feel like I just do not have the time.

Tash is leaving tomorrow and I am sad about it. I will miss my girl, but I know she has to go back home. I was thinking about calling Pajamas and seeing what was up, but I didn't. It is cold in my house but I think it is just me, cuz Man Man is butt naked in the bed. I am so confused and have so much turmoil within myself right now about so many things. Career, Love, Friendships, Relationships period, my life and where I am supposed to be going. I have always been the type of person to just do things on a whim, but I know I cannot do that anymore because there is so much at stake when I make crazy decisions. And although I would love to be able to just do what I want i know that sometimes it is impossible. Like I do not want to go to work tomorrow because I hate my job now, but I know I have to. They are paying for my schooling and my other bills LOL. I am so tired. I want to drop off of the radar for a while. Keep in contact with the few that I need to, but I can't because a lack of attention does not suit me. I feel like I need a abreak from life in general. I know when I go to Disney I will get my break, but I need a real break. I think I am going to leave one day randomly and just go. Kinda like stella. And not like i need my groove back, like I just need to get away. Sort through things. Come up with a real plan. A few days should do. As a matter of fact that is exactly what I am going to do. Just leave, even if it is only for a day or so. No kids, no family, no man, Just me. Maybe I will get refreshed, revived and rejuvenated to tackle this crazy thing we call life. I figure i have already live 1/3 of my life and there is not much time left. It goes so quickly and there is still so much I have to do. Get my degree, get married, move up the latter and hit the glass ceiling LOL, and just enjoy life. I want to travel, Every year, go somewhere different. And I am going to start next month. Not just with my trip to Disney, I am going to book a vacation, Somewhere new, somewhere where i can just relax. Ohhh I cannot wait.