Such a loss

I do not even know what to write today. You got your man and I am leaving him alone For good. i thought that this would be harder and I am sure that as the days go by it will be hard but today I am okay. Probably more because I knew this was going to happen. Not so soon but it would happen. I will not blog about it anymore because it will just cause more heartache. It is hard when you know that 2 people are perfect for each other, but everything keeps us apart. Again you said no one can keep us apart but us...and now we know that we need to do just that. I cannot keep living my life in hiding when i want to tell the world how much I love you and you want to tell the world the same. But unfortunately you are not courageuos enough to do what it is that you want and need to do. If you want to walk around and live your life in this state of doom as you call it forever then so be it. I cant and wont. I know that GOD has plans for my life and that even if it is just being happy with myself, then that is what it will be. I will take this time to reflect on what I can do to be a better person. What i can bring to the table for the person i was meant to be with. i always knew that person was you, but you do not believe as strongly as I do. You told me I was the best thing that has ever happened to you, but you still choose to throw it away. How many people find a pearl and throw it back into the ocean.

I hope that you are happy with this decision. In the meantime...so i never forget the love i have for you and you will not forget...i want to remind you of the few great moments we shared. Some were a first for the both of us. Others were repeats made better by us. I love you, I know I always have, and i know I always will. Goodbye.

I realized i knew I would love you when we both realized our obsession with Qtips

I was ebullient that you also hated seafood.

The first time we met and all i could do was give you a hug because i did not know how to react

We walked along the park and it rained ever so slightly making the night the perfect romance movie

When you decided to come visit and I told you Christmas came early

The first time you called me after 2 weeks and i knew from the moment I heard your voice that we would be alright.

I did not have a scraper for my car and you used your card instead

When I realized that partying with you was probably the best thing next to sliced bread.

Playing guitar hero for the first time and you swore I was cheating somehow

You and man man sitting in friendlys singing rock songs and you telling him that next time you should collect money for the concert.

All of the arguments when in the end it did not matter because we would just make up.

The many times you told me that no matter how i see myself, i was a beautiful person inside and out, and as long as you saw me that way, i was okay.

Making you listen to high School musical in the car insisting that eventually you will like it.

Taking man man into your job and him thinking that you were the coolest person ever. He asks about you everyday...how am I supposed to tell him.

Waking up in the morning knowing it was time to leave but just laying there because we were so comfortable.

The old school music....the old school music

I Love you. i am giving you up, as they say, and if you belong to me, you will be back.