This Weekend

i dont even know where to start. This weekend has been quite hectic. So where do i start? Well Lets start off with Friday

Friday: Went to work and my tooth was killing me. I ended up staying a lot later than expected due to some crazy issue that came up. When i finally went home I just laid down a bit. I knew we were going to the Grown and Sexy but did not really want to. Heather came with me though and she is soo much fun. we ended up leaving the Grown and sexy to head to Rafferty's which was not that packed. But the drinks were cheaper. So the girls and Steve got pretty drunk. We met a cowboy...A real life cowboy who want to take me somewhere to ride a mechanical bull. Hmmm sounds like fun. Anywho..the cowboy told me how beautiful I was all night, then he realized I was about 7 years older than he:) It always changes things. LOL

Saturday: i cannot even remember Saturday honestly. I woke up late and the stalker called me a bizillion times. Oh wait. I did go to a picnic which was a lot of fun. At this point I did not realize the stalker was a stalker yet and he invited me to a picnic with some old high school friends. Ummm yeah there were not a lot of high school friends. Just family. and he was introducing me to them. I felt awkward and left. He called me about 50 times that night. That was when i started to think this was creepy.

Sunday: Put up the damn shed! Steve got kinda mad and left so me my mom and 2 sisters did it all by ourselves. It was like putting up a house. i went to bed about 9PM woke up and im'd you know who because I have not spoken to him in days. I got the funny feeling maybe something else was going on and that was when i got the bootback from the email and began calling him. i realized at about 2:00 that he just really did not want to see me anymore and once again did not even have the balls to tell me.i am not going to even bother anymore. Told him I give up, he wins. I will mail his stuff back to him. And you know what I am actually not even go to do that. i will just donate them to the Goodwill store. He did not have enough courtesy to call me I dont have enough courtesy to send his stuff home. Called Steve, woke him up, cried my eyes out for a while, he listened. Called PJ who continually tells me I need to realize what I am worth then finally cried myself to sleep.

Monday: Memorial Day. I woke up very late today and went to help steve put the finishing touches on the shed. Cried a bit and have just been randomly crying all day. but Facebook alwyas makes me laugh. The stalker texted me at 6 in the morning and I finally told him he needs to back off. I really do not want to deal right now.everyone is here for the cookout. We finally got the pool up. If it was hot enough i would go swimming, but I wont. I am upstairs cleaning instead of hanging out with friends so I can just wallow in my own misery. I need to get over this. I wish it were easy but it never is. It seems like everytime I go through this with him it just gets harder and harder. But you know what at this point, if he could not just admit me into his world then so be it. We needed a break and I guess this was what he ultimately wanted. I knew it would be difficult to leave the old world behind and start anew and of he did not want to all I deserved was a call. But once again not even that. the third time is a charm. I am so glad I did what I did 3 weeks ago. Here I would be going through shit again by myself. But I guess everything happens for a reason.

In the meantime, I will not be updatting for a while. I need to take a break from it all. Blogging I mean. I am going to really start writing things in my journal and capture my thoughts there. Private thoughts. And the damn stalker wont stop calling me. DAMMIT!!! I have a lot of stuff to do to get ready for the upcoming year. finisgh my thesis and start studying for my Lastas. Look into the whole work from home thing so i can attempt to go to Law School and still work. Now I need to try to find a part time Law school. This will be hard. The funny thing is when i feel like I am down it just pushes me harder to do the things I really want to.

I am depressed now, and need to sign off. Peace ppl!