Friendship

My good friend Joe picked the topic today, and that is what I am going to write about. Friendship. The problem is where do I start? Do we talk about my friendships with people, do we talk about what makes a good friendship, what makes a bad friendship? I don’t know I will just write and see what comes out.

So first of all I find that in this world of billions of people we will only have the opportunity to meet a miniscule percentage of those people. And of those people that you meet, only a smaller percentage will stick around for a lifetime. The really great thing about friendship, is that for true friends, you will always hold that relationship as close as possible. I have many types of friends. Some I have been friends with off and on since elementary school and some I met just a few years ago. The important thing is to value what you have. Then you have those other friends that only call you when they need something, or want to complain and you are the only dummy in this world that will listen to them, no matter what you say the conversation always turns back to them. And there are the friends that want you to choose between them and the other friends you have. Not fair, why do I have to choose?

I have a few friends, I am going to list them all and talk about them piece by piece. Because Joe gave me the topic I will start off with him, then we will go in chronological order of when I met people:

Joe – My gay husband. I just love you to death. We don’t speak often but we still communicate. You opened my eyes to a world I didn’t think I would ever know. I absolutely have a great time with you and your family. We have spent so much time together over the years. Although I wish you would throw away those damn senior prom pictures. I can always count on you for a good laugh but the thing I appreciate most about our friendship, is no matter what I decide my next venture will be in life, you always supported me. Always Always Always. Even if you knew it might land me in trouble. My most memorable moment of you was when you told Mrs. Mack that I was pregnant because I just couldn’t bring myself to do it  I speak of you often and never refer to you by your name but always as my gay husband or my gusband. There is never a dull moment with you. Now can you move out of JasonLand so I can actually visit you.

Mom- I never thought the day would come when I would actually consider you my friend. Laying it all out on the table, I really did not like you growing up. I think I began to love and appreciate you more as I got older. Now I consider you one of my closest friends. I still won’t tell you everything but I share most of my life with you. I never thought I would come to appreciate you as much as I do. I think the distance has just brought us closer. I Love you so much. I love you for all of the sacrifices you have made for me and my boys, for working overnights so you could show us how NOT to be dependent on other people, for always putting us first, but most importantly for getting me prepared for the real world. I can think of so many times that I disappointed you and I know it strained our relationship quite a bit. Everything I accomplished was for two sole reasons. 1. So my kids could have a better life and 2. To show you I could accomplish the things I set out to do. I am so so sorry for all of the hurts I have caused you and I try my best to be a better daughter to you. I know that in so many ways you feel lonely right now, but please know that you always have a place with me. I also want to thank you for choosing my daddy. I know he wasn’t the best person in the world, but I know you saw something in him and regardless of how things turned out I love him. I used to hate when you would brag about us and our different accomplishments, now I strive for those accomplishments so you can brag about me, not only to other people, but to yourself. So you can say, dammit I raised a great girl. I will not promise to never disappoint you again, but know that if I ever do, it is not intentional. My fondest memory of you is actually a recent one. You and I went to Cracker Barrel and just talked, not about anything important, but it was great to sit there and just have a conversation with no stigmas attached.

Nichole – Half the time I cannot stand your ass. Especially after I get off the phone with mom. But I know you are the one person I can call at any time to talk about anything. We hated each other growing up, but now I just love you to death. I do not agree with all of your life choices but I know you do not agree with mine. You are still the only person in the world I share absolutely everything with, EVERYTHING! It doesn’t mean there are not things you don’t know but I could always tell you. I love you and my little nieces and nephews, I thank you for my babies, they are my heart! We can go so long without speaking and argue or whatever but in the end, we know that we love each other and nothing will take that away from us. Hands down we always got each other’s back! Skimasking and all! My fondest memory....BlogTV…during Halloween

Kristin – I love you and you know I do. We are not the closest that two sisters could have been but regardless I still consider you my friend. I love that I can vent to you and not worry about you judging me. I love my nieces and nephews you have given me, and I am so proud of you for how they are. I know that life gets difficult but you have persevered through so much and I want you to ensure that you instill that in your children. I love you with all of my heart and I hope that as we get older, our friendship grows more and more. My fondest memory of you: Ummmm sesame street highwaters. That’s all I am saying

Claudette: Wow 5th grade. That is where we met. All I knew is that I was the only black girl in the school because I don’t know if we considered the others black, and it was so good to see someone who looked like me. We have had our ups and downs, mostly downs, but there are so many great things about you and I wish we would have never parted. We were young and immature, and I think that with the way our friendship has blossomed now, it shows our maturity level and even more importantly that there are certain friends that you will have for life. There are so many things we have both been through during our years apart and we still have so much to share. I appreciate looking at your family and seeing just how well behaved and groomed and just all around good they are. I love spending time with you and the kids. You are like my Tasha when we were in college. I cannot think of anyone else that I would long to continue a friendship after so many years apart, and honestly didn’t think I would want it with you, but I think after a conversation with you, it just all came back. I want to apologize to you for all of the hurts that we caused each other over middle and high school. I know that nothing can ever bring those days back so we could relive them all over again. However, I hope we can more than make up for the time lost and just be there as a shoulder to lean on. My fondest memory….The day during Middle school graduation where I told you to sing Lift Every Voice and Sing. Freaking hilarious

Keitha – Shaketa, am I the only person that spells your name right. You are my ride or die chick. I remember the days when we used to leave messages in my locker on my locker machine thingy. The weekends were reserved for football and Wildcats! Football cakes for the Superbowl, Orange Street, 8th street, walking from downtown to your house to Price Chopper and back! Charisma, knee operations LOL. There is just so much of my life that you have shared with me. I sometimes feel that I can’t remember a time when you weren’t there by my side. I don’t know when life caught up with us, but I so appreciate the times when I could just call you and cry. You hated some of the people I was with and expressed it not because you were jealous but because you just knew they weren’t the right one for me. I am so proud of you and all you have done. Your boys are the best. Some of us are just meant to have great kids and you got them! Man, I cannot even express how proud I am of Dre and how you have just instilled core values in him, and he is going to be great. And Ari is just one of the smartest kids I know. There are so many things I know I would have never made it through without you, and I know there is so much more I won’t make it through without you. You are one of the only person outside of my family that is a lifelong friend. Not because I know you will be there for the rest of my life, because you have been there for most of its past. I love you so much. My fondest memory: there are almost too many to count but the one that sticks out right now in my mind was you willing to leave Charisma so you and I could dance together in the Follies.

Tasha – My bestest friend! Goodness I don’t know where I would be without you. You have just kept me levelheaded. I miss you so much. I cannot even remember a time when we fought or argued. I mean like stopped talking. Oh wait there was that week during May when we were roommates and I think we were just tired of each other. I can always depend on you for just good sound advice. I mean I also can depend on you to wake me up at 12AM at night also. The one thing I appreciate about you is no matter how long we go without talking I can always call you and it is like you just know what is going on or you are going through it yourself. It is amazing at how our lives are symbiotic and I love it! You are the one person that never ever ever judges me and when you do have something bad to say it is always so gently! My fondest memory of you: So many, but definitely Jamaica climbing the falls or us on the big yellow banana boat.

Jim – Wow, I don’t know where I would be without you. I feel like we have been connected for all 35 years of my life. I admire you and all you have been through. I love just sitting back and listening to your stories of you travelling around the world. It inspires me to do so much more. You are a free spirit and I can only hope to one day have the experiences you have had. You are my big brother that I never had! I look up to you and I am so so so appreciative of everything you have done for me. I love you like a brother because that is what I consider you. I cannot remember a time when you were not there. I feel like you have always been there in spirit. You give me sound advice and have taught me how to just be me. You love me for who I am and for who I could be and I hope to make you so proud one day. My fondest memory of you: One of the time we walked to the train station and you said “You don’t like the person you are, you like the potential you.” That opened my eyes

Julia – You were the first person to accept me when I went to Target. I felt like such a misfit there. Here I was amongst all of these other people as an outsider and you never hesitated to add me to the circle. Our friendship has grown so much since then and I appreciate that I have someone down here who just loves the things that I do and enjoys spending time with me. You have kind of taking Keithas spot while I am here as my ride or die chick. We spend the superbowl together and I know I can count on you to just lift my spirits. I love your little girl and she is going to be just like you, determined and focused. I love you so much and I am so grateful that you are in my life. My fondest memory of you: Shopping overnight at Macy’s on Christmas Eve

Garrett – I always seem to spell your name wrong the first time and you always correct me. We have only known each other for a year and a half, but I feel like I have known you so much longer. You are my dependable person. The one person I speak with almost on a daily basis and the conversation never gets old. I mean I know that sometimes I repeat my stories and you cut me off but there is just so much to talk about. I appreciate that I can call you when I am going through something and you will give me your honest opinion and whether I live up to that, I always take it into consideration. Many times I consider you my rock just because you keep me grounded and sane. There are many times I feel like I am going crazy and you are the first person to kind of talk me down. I admire so much about you. You are resilient, motivated and want nothing but the best for you and your girls. Our friendship gets rocky at some moments but I never want to imagine my life without you in it somehow. You are a great role model for your girls and they are such genuine people. I cannot think of anyone who has taken on the tasks that you have and come out the way you have. Your demeanor, love, and dedication to your daughters is admirable and I could only wish that I could have learned so many things from you so long ago when I had my kids. I cannot tell you how much I love that you love your girls so much. I truly value our friendship above anything else we have. I look forward to the days we spend together, especially in the summer exploring the city. We argue but in the end I think we both have an understanding that our friendship is important and I rely on you for the sound judgment. And I like the fact that you can be the Angel on my shoulder as well as the Devil. Hey sometimes you have to do things that make you feel good even if it isn’t good for you. I hope that one day we will be able to look back on our tumultuous times and laugh about them all as we appreciate the many good time we had. My fondest memory of you: The first time we went out to dinner and we just sat on the park bench and talked for what seemed like hours about children, motorcycles and just life!