Growing Up Biracial

Thanks Sandra for the topic. This one is going to be a crazy and difficult one because I really don't want to offend people but then again, you all know me and should realize that I really don't care in the end who I offend.

My life growing up really was not much different than many others. I mean I was born, my mom and dad were together at the time, and things were great. Then we left. But I grew up in Arbor Hill, which I guess would be considered the ghetto of Albany. We were all there mixed in, Black and White (I don't remember any Spanish People). My mom was accepted as a person there, and the neighborhood loved her. She would do a garden every year, we were babysat by Ms. Willie Mae, and I played with Laura, Adrian Adaiah, Antijuan, Little Laura, Dave, Alan (my first love), and a bunch of others. We played double dutch, high water low water, hide and go get (yeah we were bad kids, we danced, put on shows, would walk to the museum on the weekends, go to the baseball field. I didn't care that my mom was like the only white person on the block and no one else cares or even seemed to notice.

My first encounter with anything that had to do with Race that I can remember was when I was around 8. I went to New Orleans for a dance competition. We went on a boat ride on the Mississippi, and needless to say my stomach did not fair well. I remember walking back and getting sick along the way with the other girls (All were white) and a guy in the alleyway came up to us and gave me a rose and said "Because you are the only one" i was sick and distraught and I had absolutely no freaking clue what he was talking about. Later I learned it was because I was the only black one....interesting.

Living in Albany I went to two different schools both very very integrated. It want until I moved to Troy that I was blown away. i went to a school where me and my sisters and 2 others were the only black people in the school. Eventually 2 more joined us. No matter how hard I tried to fit in I just couldn't. I was the Black Girl from Albany, people were either scared of me or just didn't want to have anything to do with me. Except for Robyn Torres. She was a wonderful friend. She didn't see color, and we did practically everything together. I was so sad when she moved, but the funny thing is we always kept in contact because her mom adopted a black girl and needed to get her hair done, so they would come back so my mom could do her hair.

Going to middle school was quite different, I was a newbie amongst all of these other kids. All the schools in Troy moved up into one school, and I wasn't really accepted by the black people or the white people. I really had a few friends. I do not know though that it was attributed to color, I think it was because all of these people grew up together and I didn't.

That leads me to this point, I think the hardest part about growing up as a mixed girl was honestly just me. As I got into high school I separated the people I hung out with. I had white friends and black friends. They never were together with the exception of a few people, Shaketa, Joe, Janet, Rodney, other than that I kept them separated. I would act one way in front of one group and act completely different in front of another group.

My family also made it know that while we were different, I was really different. I had the worst hair out of the three of us, and i knew it. Now that I am older all I am told is how soft and pretty my hair is. Based on things growing up I thought I would need a relaxer for the rest of my life (I will discuss hair in a bit)

College was different from High School, yet again I separated my white friend from my black friends. I remember the first time I brought my mom to college and everyone asked me if I was adopted. I was appalled that people would even ask me that question. Those of you that know my mom, know that I look exactly like her, and why was it so hard to believe that she was my mom? I made some great friends in college. I remember one time when we watched higher learning and everyone was walking across campus with a chip on their shoulder. I didn't know how to feel. I didn't know if I should be angry at the white people, but then I remembered my mom telling me what she told my uncle. It is not her fault for what her ancestors did. That has always stuck on me.

So many things have changed in society and with me since those moments. I do not have to choose between black or white on a questionnaire, I can choose both. I don't have to separate my friends from each other, if you like me as a person that is all that matters. I don't act differently from one group to another, I am just Hope. I don't care that my hair is not like Kristin's, it is mine and I really do like it. I have my black features that I love to flaunt, like my nice full lips, and my high cheekbones.

Here is my advice for the next generations of mixed races...Top Ten

10. Learn how to love yourself first. This actually goes for everyone.

9. Learn as much as possible about your history from both sides. there is so much available on the internet that this shouldn't be that hard.

8. Act the same no matter what. You are a human being and if you are not accepted by certain people because you are to prissy or to ghetto then so be it. We have a record world population. There are soooo many potential friends.

7. Your features is what makes you, you! Don't allow anyone to tell you that your nose looks funny, or your lips are a bit small, or your hair doesn't look like you have white in you, or your butt is too big or too small. Don't allow people to associate your features with your race. You are you because that is how your chromosomes happened to work out.

6. Appreciate your beauty. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that Mixed children are some of the most beautiful people in the world and black and white are intimidate by us sometimes. All because they do not have the eroticism that we may have. Some people didn't like me because I was pretty, and I tried everything to not be pretty just so people would love me.

5. Make sure you connect with both sides of your family and stay connected. I am blessed because I know my mom and my dads side. I get to hear the stories of my mom in her back woods running through the dark, but I also get to hear my dad's family talk about the discrimination issues they faced everyday. It gives us a unique culture.

4. Do not ever feel like you have to choose between one or the other. You are who you are for a reason. You have the best of both worlds, use it to your advantage! Take advantage of those "minority" scholarships, and grants and whatever else they give you for being a minority, but don't use the system or overdo it. There really aren't "White only" anything so I cannot really speak about that :)

3. For white parents who do not have the the other parent, do all that you can to show your child the other side of things. Ultimately they will grow up being labeled as black, and you do not want them to grow up ignorant to that.

2. Mentioning that, you will always be labeled black, but it doesn't mean you have to accept it! I am proud to have my parents, and when i am asked "What am I" I tell them I am mixed, not black, not white, I am biracial!

1. Again for the white mothers......PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE learn how to do your little girls hair. It pains me to see girls walking around with their hair in a nappy Afro because a. The mother doesn't know how to do it, b. The mother wont learn how to do it, c. The mother will not take her daughter to someone who knows how to do it!